why do everytime i love someone i gave my all then get nothing in the end? i’ve been in many heartaches and heartbreaks for the past five years of my life since i learned how to love. at first, i thought love is like a lesson you can learn from books but i was wrong. its like a spark that builds inside of you that keeps on growing and growing as time goes by. that’s what i felt towards Lily. she’s the most amazing lady that i ever met. the hazel eyes, long black hair, red lips and crystal voice, no wonder i fell for her so easily. everyday in school, i always sit at the same bench, ate the same sandwich and stare at the same girl. i never grew tired on looking at her. my crush on Lily turns into love. there are many times i attempt to introduce myself to Lily but my shyness is always on my way. one rainy afternoon at school, i think that i was the only one left on the campus, when i was preparing to open my umbrella to go home, i heard a voice from the hall. “hey” the voice yelled. then i look back, it was her, Lily, running to me. there she is, standing in front of me, as the rain falls to the ground. “can i share with your umbrella? i forgot mine” then smiled. who am i to resist the girl i wanted to know for such a long time. it’s like a dream come true. “yes, of course” i replied. we stroll in the heavy rain with my umbrella. i cant help myself to stare at here face from time to time then she would smile back at me that make me blush. my polo is soaking wet but i rather be rained on than the love of my life. the journey end, its time for her to move out from my umbrella. “thanks” and then she kissed me in my checks. she run through the rain coming to her house. i was left there in the middle of the hard rain under my umbrella with an ear to ear smile. i think she likes me, that’s what i’m thinking. i literally sang my heart out and dance in the heavy rain. joy is filling my heart with an overwhelming happiness. when i got home, i changed my wet clothes, eat dinner while smiling (my mother even ask me if i’m going crazy) and that night was the night i wish that will not be over. the scenario of the kiss in the rain keeps on running over and over again. i slept that night like i never slept at all for a long time. the sun rises on my window, dew is falling from the leaves and it a morning like no other. i prepare myself to go to school and to see Lily. as i walk towards our school gates, Lily’s smile is still on my mind. cant wait. then lunch time, i was sat on the same bench, ate the same sandwich (actually i prepared another one in case Lily would approach me) but she not there. my eyes wonder around. where is she?the whole day pass without here on my sight. i went home, down from the wait. it seems that hours is like days for me without Lily. i throw the sandwich that i made for here on the thrash and went to my room. loud bang at my door woke me up from my nap. “telephone for you” said my mother’s voice. i opened the door and my mother handed the phone. “hello” i said, “hello” said from the other line. the voice sounds familiar. “it’s me Lily, the girl who shared the umbrella with you the other day”. then that with be the start of a great conversation. we talk for hours and hours then said our goodbyes. just like the rainy day, i dont want to let here go. then days pass, our friendship turns to mutual understanding and its getting deeper and deeper. but she grew tired and we parted ways. i really dont know what is the reason but she told me that if where meant to be, were be together someday. i cried many nights and lose my appetite for food. i ask a lot of questions that been answered with questions too. did i do something wrong? i dont know. maybe she get tired of the same things we are doing over and over again, but im not. maybe because everyday i saw her it was a different Lily i see. i never grew tired of hearing her voices, touching her hands and looking at her eyes. i hate love from some point. i know that love supposed to make you happy, put a smile on your face and the strenght when your down,but why does this love put so much sadness in my heart, guilt in my brain and scars that long to heal.