MELANISM

Here are some actual quotes from Melanie Marquez, the former Miss International, also a self confessed Madame Malaprop. (Note: Malapropism, meaning “a ludicrous misuse of a word”). It’ll make your day.

I won’t stoop down to my level. Hello? Bulag ka ba? Bingi ka ba? Are you dep? Yung STD, baka sa maruming toilet lang niya nakuha yan.

Eh, ikaw ba naman, durugin ang ari mo… Pag di ka naman manutok ng baril.

We are lovers, not fighters. My brother is not a girl; he’s a gentleman. That’s why I’m a success, it’s because I don’t
middle in other people’s lives.

Don’t judge my brother; he’s not a book. Kapatid ko pa rin siya. We are one and the same. Bakit ang dami mong tanong? You’re so questionable.

I don’t eat meat. I’m not a carnival. Eto na po ang pinakamaligayang pasko at manigong taon sa inyong lahat.(during her acceptance speech at a Metro Filmfest awards night where her bioflick, directed by her late father Temyong Marquez, won an award)

(when asked on S-Files if her present husband, Adam Lawyer, is her Mr. Right)

Sumasakit ang migraine ko. Ang tatay ko ang only living legend na buhay! Period na talaga; wala nang exclamation point.

(at a talk show after her break-up with Derek Dee, Melanie was asked if she had some words for Derek’s mother, whom she partly blamed for the separation) “Oo nga,” said Melanie, “pero i-English-in ko para maintindihan niya.” She looked into the camera and, with the peremptoriness of royalty, said, “And to you, Mrs. Dee, I have two words for you. Ang labo mo!”

(when asked for a message to her daughter who was allegedly abused by their houseboy)

“Don’t worry little angel, big angel is here.”(on what they should do to the houseboy who molested her kid) “He should be put behind bar!”

“You can fool me once, you can even fool me twice, you can even fool me thrice. But you can never fool me four!” (while waiting backstage during a noontime show, after watching Nikki Valdez do her dance number) “Nikki, you’re so galing. You should go to the States. You will sell hotcakes!”

ATE LUDS: “Paano ka nag-susurvive sa mga trials mo?”
“Alam mo Ate Ludz, you know, when you are alone, you really have to istep your foot…ah ,forward!”

Eddie Mercado: “Angie Dickinson has insured her legs for a million dollars, would you also do the same?

” Melanie: “No, of course no, because I am proud and contented with my long-legged.”
With this answer, she bagged the crown and eventually won the Miss International in 1978.

(while she’s in Morning Girls With Kris & Korina promoting her movie with Aleck Bovick)
Please watch “Hiram” starring Aleck Baldwin, and myself. It’s director by Romy Suzara.

Hindi ba kayo naawa sa kapatid ko… sa mga kwento nya? Di ba kayo na-persuave ng mga kinwento nya?”

“Hindi si Joey ang tipong mambubugbog ng babae… talaga lang malapit sya sa mga gulo… pro-accident kasi sya eh…”
Boy Abunda: O, Melanie, paano na ang showbiz career mo ngayong nagmo-Mormon ka na?

Melanie: Ah okay lang yan Boy, kasi matagal narin akong semi-retarded.

Go, Melanie…. Go! Hahahahah

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